Guest post by Parmie Sandhu
Fertility Problems and Pressures...
The year 2014 marked the beginning of a new journey for me in a new province: I had to leave behind decades upon decades of “things” that defined who I was, where I came from, and what brought me to the here and now. Unfortunately, I carry my mother’s disdain at choosing to pursue further education rather than finding a mate, settling down, and make babies…Or, as my mother puts it, ‘start my life.’ Something I've been reminded of a few times by now...
My inner monologue started to wonder what that question really meant because, as far as I’m concerned, I have been living. So, I shamelessly searched the term ‘life’ on the merriam-webster website, and it defined the word in several ways which included “the ability to grow, change, etc,” and “the experience of being alive.” My personal and professional endeavors, including the many struggles, have molded me into the woman I am today. My heart beats, my pulse races, and my body exists upon this planet with a determined stride. By definition, I am living, right?
This year also happened to bring my existence into its pivotal 30th birthday – a time that seemed harmless until my Facebook was bombarded with announcements of engagements, marriages, and babies. This left an unsettling bottomless pit at the base of my stomach. Did I make the right choice to uproot my life and immerse myself into the unknown? Facebook became the least of my worries when I started to notice that the term ‘settling’ started to get thrown around more often than I would have liked. Friends would call in sheer panic at the thought of having to find a mate before their biological clock started to tick its way into nothingness, or end a relationship (likely an unsatisfactory one) for fear of being alone and childless. Apparently, this clock starts ticking at 30. My own fear lies at the idea of settling.
I think that people often forget that living should make you happy, irrespective of this ticking clock. Everything happens for a reason and one should never force something to work because they’re afraid they will never have that opportunity again. Opportunities will present themselves in different ways throughout our lifetime, it may not be in the exact way you conceptualized it in your mind but they are there – sometimes it takes a little extra effort to see them. My final word to you is to appreciate what you have, never settle for less than what makes you happy, and don’t let that clock run your life.nnCan you relate? Comment on your experience below!
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